Yes, you're still the head coach. Now go get me some coffee.

Here's Sports Rippers team member Gold Standard on the plight of Jim Zorn:

The situation with Jim Zorn is getting more amusing to watch by the day. He won’t quit. Daniel Snyder won’t fire him. What a standoff! Zorn is left as the “head coach” of an incompetent team wielding about as much authority as a college intern.

Zorn is in a difficult spot. He can’t walk away from Daniel Snyder’s millions. But by staying on in a job where he essentially has to ask permission to use the bathroom, he could look even worse than he did when he was calling plays.
No small achievement.

And now Zorn has dragged his boy Steve Largent into this mess. In a radio interview with KJR of Seattle, Largent ripped Snyder and said Zorn considered quitting when his playcalling responsibilities were yanked away. Unless Largent is going behind his friend’s back and talking out of school, there’s no reason to think that Zorn didn’t give him the go-ahead to air the dirty laundry.

This is where Zorn made a mistake. He can’t stay on as coach and have his friend blasting the team. He can’t give pressers every day saying he’s going to take the high road and do what’s best for the Redskins while we all believe he’s badmouthing the team behind closed doors. There’s nothing worse than coming across as disingenuous.

Zorn has to do his best to keep a good-guy image. He’s out as Redskins coach after the year anyway, so he may as well do his best to impress some people with some professionalism. Stand on the sideline, fake looking interested, and cash your checks until Snyder caves.

Being on the opposite end of a war with Daniel Snyder isn’t the worst thing to help your image. But you have to know how to fight.