Thanks For Nothing

Thanksgiving is here again and for some reason the holiday turns everyone into a bunch of softies. In the world of journalism, this takes shape as a smorgasbord of lists and columns in which writers comment on what they're grateful for.

Look, I'm as appreciative of the things in my life as the next guy, but I'm drawing the line on all this mushy stuff. Instead, I present a list of 10 things, in no particular order, that I'm not thankful for as a sports fan:

1. The New York Knicks: My favorite team has been a complete disgrace for the past decade despite always having a bloated payroll. At least, noted saboteur Isiah Thomas is no longer in the mix.

2. Prevent defenses: For always seeming to cost teams games they have in hand, while costing me bets that I've made.

3. Brett Favre: The guy is a legend, but his tireless back-and-forth with retirement has wasted so much of my time.

4. Bad officiating: Why bother playing the games if some disgruntled ex-athlete is going to take matters into his own hands?

5. Backdoor covers: The biggest dagger in gambling since it never seems to go your way.

6. NASCAR: Get out.

7. Plaxico Burress: The talented wide receiver giveth and then he taketh away.

8. Early-morning tailgating: Yawn. The most overrated activity in sports. Wake me when the game starts.

9. Rained out games/rounds of golf: How's that "global warming is a myth" theory working out?

10. The majority of baseball announcers: The biggest collection of dinosaurs since the Jurassic Period.

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