The Cutler Face

We all know how Bill Simmons has endlessly pimped his "Manning Face" over the years. It was funny once, but now Peyton Manning rewrites the definition of "legend" on a weekly basis. Although he tries to drag it out on occasion, even Simmons knows the "Manning Face" is deader than Charlie Weis' future as a HC.

In its place, let's honor Simmons and say welcome to the "Cutler Face." Unlike Manning's dour look when a big game has turned bad, Cutler's "face" comes in two looks: 1. the "I'm shipping blame onto my teammates" look, and 2. the "I'm totally ignoring the input of others despite my obvious failures" beauty.

Of course, the double-chinned signal caller channeled both versions of his face in tonight's 24-20 home loss to Philly. He repeatedly made poor throws but bitched openly when receivers couldn't catch them. Take Earl Bennett's "drop" on third down in the fourth quarter. Cutler chucked a wobbler behind Bennett then literally threw his hands up after Bennett failed to haul it in. All it cost the Bears — who led at the time and badly needed to chew some clock — was a first down. Instead, Cutler just threw one away but paraded around like he didn't.

Eh, no biggie, Jay.

Cutler then unveiled face No. 2 after he threw an interception to seal Chi-town's fate as the Bears tried to drive for a winning score. If you missed it, Donovan McNabb — the Steve Jobs of dealing with haters — stopped Cutler postgame and pulled a LeBron, bringing him in close for a few words of advice. Looked like they were a few too many for Cutler, who did everything but roll his eyes while McNabb jabbered in his ear. Luckily for us, NBC was there to capture it.

With 10 games down, I think it's safe to say this guy has proven himself a fraud. He has a completely skewed view of his abilities and both Cutler Faces prove it.

He just can't lose enough for me.

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