Oh, Fu#%

Time to go, Wade

Tonight is the night. Finally, it appears Wade Phillips finds himself one loss from ensuring his pink slip, and tonight's date with the unbeaten Saints provides the perfect exit strategy for Jerry Jones. Cowboys lose, Giants swoop in and steal the last playoff spot. I can picture it now. Wade may as well be standing on the trap door.

Jones' finger has been firmly resting against the button ever since Phillips came to Texas. He hired Jason Garrett as a de facto coach-in-waiting when he brought Phillips in, but Mr. Botox seems to have soured on Garrett since. Still, the offensive coordinator plays the Bruce Gradkowski to Phillips' JaMarcus Russell, the superior option. But what kind of business model is this? A model of imminent failure, that's what.

Not surprisingly, Jones behaves like the Cowboys are the Yankees, a team destined to compete for a championship every year. Instead, Dallas last won a playoff game with Troy Aikman under center, making Jones' expectations laughable at best, delusional at worst.

Now, trust me, Phillips is awful. But the Cowboys have been beset by problems every season dating back to before Bill Parcells. Their lack of mettle reflects poorly on superstar QB Tony Romo, a Jay Cutler-level flake without the babes. Romo piles up yards in Garrett's offense, lobbing the ball to wide open receivers crossing the middle of the field. But the Cowboys are front-runners. Their offensive line (Marc Columbo) is banged up. Their running game flops every second half. They simply can't play from ahead.

On defense, Jones' collection of big-name, no-game defensive backs has cost the Cowboys for years. Finally, Roy Williams was jettisoned. Too bad they kept the other one.

Now DeMarcus Ware may miss tonight's game. He's their best player, but the Cowboys won't touch Drew Brees anyway. It would require exactly the type of grit, fight and physicality this team lacks every year, this one included.

Frankly, I can't wait for tonight. Phillips' boys will flop, the local and national Cowboy-loving media will pin yet another December loss at his feet and Jones, once Dallas misses the playoffs, will drop the ax. So predictable, so typical. Really, the fault should fall on Romo, the players and the unrealistic culture in Dallas. Big stadium, big money, big dreams — small results.

Blame Wade. Bring in some new eight-figure clown to put you over the top.

Then watch the top stretch even further out of reach.

Can't leave well enough alone

Jerry Jones has a bad habit. He seems to like to meddle at the worst possible times, and now, he's done it again.

Remember when Jones left tickets to NFC championship game in his players' lockers before the Cowboys and Giants met in the divisional round two years ago?

Now Jones is publicly questioning his staff's use of Marion Barber. Maybe I'm missing something, but what could possibly be gained here? He owns the team, so if he really couldn't live with the way Barber is being used, all he'd have to do is tell Wade Phillips privately the exact role he wanted the back to play.

Publicly questioning Phillips only brings more heat on a guy who most people think will be gone at season's end, and it's certainly not going to help the team pull together amid the talk of its pathetic December record in recent years. Jones' comments serve absolutely no productive purpose.

Don't get me wrong - I love this. I hope Jones keeps this up all month and the Cowboys take a nose dive right out of the playoffs. But Jones should take a page out of George Steinbrenner's book. The Boss mellowed out in his later years running the Yankees, and lo and behold they started stacking up titles. Steinbrenner was still passionate and occasionally popped off, but he chose his spots better.

Jones should do the same, but man, I hope he doesn't.

A ray of sunshine

Between the Yankees winning it all, the Mets finishing a miserable season and the Giants free-falling after a 5-0 start, the last couple of months have been unkind.


Until today.

As I've stated before, the Cowboys rank second behind the Yankees on my list of despised franchises, but because I root for the Giants, beating the Cowboys ranks right up there with any loss the Yankees could ever suffer.

(Winning the World Series in 2000 would have been the greatest, but alas the Mets pissed that away).

In recent years, the Cowboys talk big and play small. They yapped this week about Eli "disrespecting" them by signing his name in the visiting locker room in Week 2. I guess the motivation from that complete non-story wasn't enough to push them over the top.

The Giants are flawed, and they may still miss the playoffs. Obviously I hope the Giants can get hot and make an impact in the NFC. But today's win, at least for me, will make this season a lot easier to swallow even if it has a less than spectacular ending.

Feelings hurt?

Eli Manning acknowledged that he indeed signed his name in the visiting locker room at the Cowboys' new stadium in the Giants' visit there earlier this season.

Now the Cowboys are upset. Awww. Poor wittle babies.

Get out.

A team that has consistently harbored the biggest jerks, phonies and idiots (this side of Oakland and Cincinnati, anyway) shouldn't throw stones in its new glass palace.

Wade Phillips didn't approve of Eli's John Hancock.

"Things tend to come around in this league," the consistently over-matched coach said.

What things would those be, Wade? Maybe he was referring to the dirty leg-whip that snake Flozell Adams put on Justin Tuck in Week 2. Or maybe he was referring to the fact that his mediocre coaching usually "comes around" to dagger the Cowboys in December and January.

I'm a Yankee-hater, but when baseball season ends the Cowboys do a nice job of filling in as the object of my antipathy.

Deja T.O.

W.F. Slinger (who we promise will post his own stuff eventually) with some thoughts on the newest Cowboy diva.
There are your bad guys and then there are your bad team guys. I know nothing about Dallas Cowboy wide receiver Roy Williams as a person, but I now know all I need to know about him as a teammate.

Welcome to the Zach Randolph/Allen Iverson/Terrell Owens/others like them Club, my friend. You are officially a loser.

Don't believe me? Then check out this story from ESPN.com, which makes Williams sound selfish, stupid and delusional.

Williams pretty much blames quarterback Tony Romo for his own lack of production since coming over from the Detroit Losts last year. Despite playing like a bum and having other bums like Miles Austin and Patrick Crayton completely outplay him, Williams maintains he's the teams No. 1 receiver. According to him, "I'm the No. 1 wide receiver, but things are just going No. 2's way."

Maybe that's because you stink. Doesn't this sound like the rantings and ravings of another wideout in Dallas? Just last year, T.O. was making wild claims about how Romo didn't throw him the ball enough and that the quarterback and tight end Jason Whitten were somehow conspiring against him by coming up with their own plays.

Last I checked, Romo has better things to occupy himself with in hotel rooms when the team travels on the road.

It's a shame because I used to really like this guy. He played for Permian High School (made famous by the legendary book "Friday Nigh Lights") in Odessa, Texas, where his freakish talent earned him one of the simplest, but great nicknames ever: The Legend.

At the University of Texas, he provided the best highlight material of any wide receiver since Florida State's Peter Warrick and was even ranked No. 1 on Mel Kiper's Big Board at one point before being drafted No. 7 in the 2004 NFL Draft. After showing some early brilliance (82 catches for 1,310 yards and 7 TDs in his third full season), even while playing for the sorriest professional team of the past decade in Detroit, Williams has basically been an injury-plagued disaster ever since.

And now, on top of bringing Dallas down (a good thing), he's killing my fantasy team (dagger). Too bad Cowboys owner and general manager Jerry Jones doesn't play in my fantasy football league. Then I might be able to dump "The Former Legend" on him like the Lions did for a first, third, and sixth round pick in next year's draft.