The Cutler Face

We all know how Bill Simmons has endlessly pimped his "Manning Face" over the years. It was funny once, but now Peyton Manning rewrites the definition of "legend" on a weekly basis. Although he tries to drag it out on occasion, even Simmons knows the "Manning Face" is deader than Charlie Weis' future as a HC.

In its place, let's honor Simmons and say welcome to the "Cutler Face." Unlike Manning's dour look when a big game has turned bad, Cutler's "face" comes in two looks: 1. the "I'm shipping blame onto my teammates" look, and 2. the "I'm totally ignoring the input of others despite my obvious failures" beauty.

Of course, the double-chinned signal caller channeled both versions of his face in tonight's 24-20 home loss to Philly. He repeatedly made poor throws but bitched openly when receivers couldn't catch them. Take Earl Bennett's "drop" on third down in the fourth quarter. Cutler chucked a wobbler behind Bennett then literally threw his hands up after Bennett failed to haul it in. All it cost the Bears — who led at the time and badly needed to chew some clock — was a first down. Instead, Cutler just threw one away but paraded around like he didn't.

Eh, no biggie, Jay.

Cutler then unveiled face No. 2 after he threw an interception to seal Chi-town's fate as the Bears tried to drive for a winning score. If you missed it, Donovan McNabb — the Steve Jobs of dealing with haters — stopped Cutler postgame and pulled a LeBron, bringing him in close for a few words of advice. Looked like they were a few too many for Cutler, who did everything but roll his eyes while McNabb jabbered in his ear. Luckily for us, NBC was there to capture it.

With 10 games down, I think it's safe to say this guy has proven himself a fraud. He has a completely skewed view of his abilities and both Cutler Faces prove it.

He just can't lose enough for me.

Misfires

Anyone watching Eagles-Bears right now knows this already, but Jay Cutler is looking worse every week. Mr. Woo addressed this in an earlier post, and tonight is another confirmation of Cutler's regression.

The Bears have four field goals in this game, but they should have several TDs. Cutler has thrown some hideous passes and missed wide open receivers. I mean WIDE open.

He also continues to gesture wildly after many of these throws, and while I'm not standing on the field, it sure seems like he's showing up his teammates.

This Cut's a mess

OK folks, forget about that stupid arm. It's time to lop Jay Cutler off the list of the NFL's top quarterbacks.

Five more picks by the double-chinned gunslinger cost the Bears a key road win tonight in their 10-6 loss at the 49ers. Cutler's fifth and final mistake came with under 10 seconds to play when he scrambled forward and threw on the run for Greg Olsen in the end zone. Had Cutler and Olsen connected, the Bears would have won the game. Instead, the pass ended up so deep in the heart of Michael Lewis' red jersey, the safety is lucky he didn't burst a chamber.

So enough already about Cutler's arm. Football is not a skills competition. If so, Jeff George would be remembered as a stud rather than a dud.

Right now Cutler's more Kerry Wood than Nolan Ryan, showing random flashes of brilliance that are too often clouded by unabashed wildness. After more than one interception tonight, Cutler was seen either barking or brooding, but never it seemed were the harsher emotions directed at himself.

Where else to lay blame? It's about time someone pointed at the man in white. He sulked his way out of Denver; now all the Broncos do is win. Cutler? After his woeful Thursday Night Football effort, No. 6 dropped to 21-25 for his career. No winning seasons and no playoff games, forget about playoff wins. What has Chicago so excited exactly?

When Super Bowls are decided by radar guns, call Cutler. Until then, just call Cutler what he is: one of the most overrated, overhyped players in the league.