Warning: Don't watch HBO Dec. 8

Call the cable company. Tell them you need maintenance at 10 p.m. on Dec. 8. Trust me, you need the diversion.

I just watched the end of Manny Pacquiao's beat down of Miguel Cotto on HBO. Saw a commercial for Joe Buck Live, a.k.a. Vomit Fest Live. The ad included snapshots of Buck's guest list, which has included, among others, such honest, modest and likable figures as Curt Schilling, Jerry Jones, Michael Irvin, Joe Namath and Brett Favre.

Seriously, HBO? That's who we want to hear from?

A question: Were A-Rod, Terrell Owens and Isiah Thomas unavailable?

I'm not sure a more unpopular guy could host a show with a group of more unpopular athletes/blowhards (Jones). Probably, but only if Skip Carey had moderated the panel. Yuck.

My fav 5...people to hate

5. Tony Romo: Has anyone ever received more attention without winning a playoff game? Even the criminals, the overexposed and the egomaniacs like Michael Vick, Terrell Owens, Peyton and Eli Manning, Tom Brady, Jerry Jones, Bill Parcells, etc. have won something — most of them oodles of playoff games and Super Bowls, Vick included. So why has this Cowboy quarterback been cast as a star right alongside them? Because he dated a hot babe who was famous? Last time I checked, Giselle was neither ugly nor obscure.

Look, Romo has produced at the level of a top 10 regular season quarterback. Fair, but big whoop. Show his mug after an accomplishment, ESPN, not after a weekend in Cancun.

I also greatly dislike his face.

4. Chris Berman: Hey, I have a nickname there guy: Chris "STFU" Berman.

So please stay away from the U.S. Open and the MLB playoffs. They are legitimate events. And burn that stupid hat.

3. Joe Buck: Besides the fact that his cavernous cleft could sleep a family of four comfortably, Buck is a truly perplexing figure. Let's consider other sports broadcasters who have dominated the sports landscape over the last generation: Marv Albert (NBA/NFL), Bob Costas (MLB/NBA/Sunday Night Football/Olympics), Jim Nantz (NFL/PGA), and Al Michaels (Monday Night Football/MLB/NBA/Hockey). Those four men would consist of the sports broadcasting Mount Rushmore from the last 25 years.

So question: Who among this group does the vast majority of the American public actively despise? Their only faults are the following — Nantz is a little rehearsed, Costas a little smug, Michaels a little GPS (see Rip-tionary) on the rules, and Marv a little... well... promiscuous. But have we ever really hated them? No.

Personally, I find Buck detestable. Many agree. 

2. Isiah Thomas: Because anyone with his history of transgressions deserves nothing but a rip! He has, in rough order: bankrupt the CBA; destroyed the rosters of the Raptors and Pacers; decimated and humiliated the Knicks, all while sapping their fan base of whatever remained of its pride; sexually harassed a co-worker; possibly threw his daughter under the bus; and somehow came out smelling at least a little like a rose.

Seriously though, FIU hiring Isiah as its coach is the sports equivalent of giving Bernie Madoff a job as a stock broker if he was ever discharged from jail. 

And I think that's what why Zeke is so easy to hate. His punishments/banishments/disgrace-aments never last long. Ol' No. 11 woos more people than Ben Franklin in his prime.

1. Roger Clemens: Nothing repulses an honest sports fan more than someone who is: A) self-

obsessed; B) has no understanding of his current place in his sport (see: Iverson, Allen); and C) is a filthy liar. Clemens manages to combine A, B and C, and somehow still maintain enough in his deep reserve of gall to attach his wife's name to steroid use.

How crazy is Clemens? This crazy: I don't think the best way to dagger him is to keep him out of Cooperstown. Instead, here's my idea...

How about the voters select him. Then, on his big day in rural New York, with Debbie and the K-clan watching, they consistently mispronounce his name at the ceremony. Then, once the time comes, the Hall misspells his name on his plaque.

With someone so undeniably vain and deranged, nothing would sting him more.

Call the men in the white coats

What on earth is wrong with Stephon Marbury? I'm actually to the point now where I think he has some kind of serious mental defect that needs attention. In his latest insane move, Marbury showed up at the Knicks' home opener tonight, and caused a little fiasco before eventually being removed from the building.

This past summer Marbury made news with his webshow, where he engaged in a variety of strange activities that included eating Vaseline off his finger. OOOOOOOKK Steph.

Marbury will always be linked with the Isiah Thomas era in New York, and that's not an era one wants to be linked with. But he's gone to a level beyond basketball now. I used to just think Marbury was one of these super-talented guys who, for whatever reason, never won anything. Now I'm starting to think there is more to it than that.

He showed up at the home opener of a team that basically paid him to stay away from the team and made a scene. That's not normal behavior.

Then again, I don't think Marbury is a normal guy.