Time to go, Wade

Tonight is the night. Finally, it appears Wade Phillips finds himself one loss from ensuring his pink slip, and tonight's date with the unbeaten Saints provides the perfect exit strategy for Jerry Jones. Cowboys lose, Giants swoop in and steal the last playoff spot. I can picture it now. Wade may as well be standing on the trap door.

Jones' finger has been firmly resting against the button ever since Phillips came to Texas. He hired Jason Garrett as a de facto coach-in-waiting when he brought Phillips in, but Mr. Botox seems to have soured on Garrett since. Still, the offensive coordinator plays the Bruce Gradkowski to Phillips' JaMarcus Russell, the superior option. But what kind of business model is this? A model of imminent failure, that's what.

Not surprisingly, Jones behaves like the Cowboys are the Yankees, a team destined to compete for a championship every year. Instead, Dallas last won a playoff game with Troy Aikman under center, making Jones' expectations laughable at best, delusional at worst.

Now, trust me, Phillips is awful. But the Cowboys have been beset by problems every season dating back to before Bill Parcells. Their lack of mettle reflects poorly on superstar QB Tony Romo, a Jay Cutler-level flake without the babes. Romo piles up yards in Garrett's offense, lobbing the ball to wide open receivers crossing the middle of the field. But the Cowboys are front-runners. Their offensive line (Marc Columbo) is banged up. Their running game flops every second half. They simply can't play from ahead.

On defense, Jones' collection of big-name, no-game defensive backs has cost the Cowboys for years. Finally, Roy Williams was jettisoned. Too bad they kept the other one.

Now DeMarcus Ware may miss tonight's game. He's their best player, but the Cowboys won't touch Drew Brees anyway. It would require exactly the type of grit, fight and physicality this team lacks every year, this one included.

Frankly, I can't wait for tonight. Phillips' boys will flop, the local and national Cowboy-loving media will pin yet another December loss at his feet and Jones, once Dallas misses the playoffs, will drop the ax. So predictable, so typical. Really, the fault should fall on Romo, the players and the unrealistic culture in Dallas. Big stadium, big money, big dreams — small results.

Blame Wade. Bring in some new eight-figure clown to put you over the top.

Then watch the top stretch even further out of reach.

Which team will disgrace itself most?

With the weak undercard of college football almost over and another glorious NFL Sunday almost upon us, I will make a bold prediction as to which team will make the worst showing tomorrow.

We have some excellent candidates. The Rams and Lions are both taking on vastly superior teams in the Saints and Vikings, respectively. The Rams are probably in for a dreadful beating, but neither of these teams is my selection.

The Redskins are usually good for a hideous performance, and squaring off with the Broncos is not a great match-up for Washington. While I expect the 'Skins to get whooped, they are not my choice either.

One could easily make the argument that the loser of the Oakland-Kansas City game is the automatic choice here. Both teams are awful, so the loser must be the bottom of the barrel. But no, I'm going elsewhere.

My choice is the Cleveland Browns. The Browns play Monday night, so they won't have the benefit of a full slate of games to hide their woeful play. The team might be on the brink of mutiny over Eric Man-genius' intense practice schedule, and Cleveland's offense sets football back 10 years every time it takes the field.

The Browns are named after the legendary Paul Brown. Lately though, brown is the best color to describe Cleveland's play for other reasons.

Rips from around the league

Sunday nights are a wonderful time for reflection. Starting tonight, I will be posting a summary of rip-worthy events from around the NFL every Sunday night. I'll leave out the Giants since I've ripped them enough. Here we go:

Falcons 31, Redskins 17: I'm not quite sure what else there is to say about Washington. The owner stinks, the coach stinks, the team stinks. We may be looking at the NFC's answer to the Raiders.

Cardinals 41, Bears 21: The Bears and Ravens don't actually have to play well on defense to be considered good defensive teams. They've had good defenses in the past, so they must be good now, right? Kurt Warner's five TDs say otherwise.

Bengals 17, Ravens 7: The Ravens might have been the only team more overrated than the Giants earlier in the season.

Colts 20, Texans 17: Is there anyone in sports with an easier job than Colts offensive coordinator Tom Moore?











Patriots 27, Dolphins 17: The Wildcat offense is great. Having Randy Moss on your team is better.

Saints 30, Panthers 20: The Panthers jumped out to a lead but couldn't deliver the Saints' first loss. I still count it as a victory for Carolina though, because Jake Delhomme didn't throw any picks.

Jaguars 24, Chiefs 21: I'm going to take this opportunity to rip the Redskins again. Washington lost to Kansas City. That's a pretty meaty rip in itself.

Seahawks 32, Lions 20: Does anyone care?

Bucs 38, Packers 28: Tampa Bay, congrats on breaking that pesky 11-game losing streak. Green Bay...dagger.

Titans 34, 49ers 27: This definitely deserves another strip show from Mike Singletary.