Pedro: Better than ever?

No, actually, he's not.

In fact, at 38, Pedro Martinez, the greatest pitcher in the last 25 years, could very well be on the verge of the final start of his career — and for a justifiable reason. Yet of all the absurd notions floated by dinosaurs roaming aimlessly around the sports landscape these days, one uttered today made the others look intricate and advanced, kind of how movies like Waterworld make Costner masterpieces like For the Love of the Game appear entertaining by comparison.

Now, I don't want to repeat the rip of my astute colleague, Tony G. Dagger, who bemoaned the cliched idiocy spewing from those two herbivores, Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, during Game 2. But listen to how lost one reporter — we'll call him Not Ferdinand Magellan — proved himself to be during the Yankees pre-Game 6 workout.

In a scrum centered around (of all people) Jerry Hairston Jr., someone asked the Yankee utilityman the following:

"Is Pedro maybe more dangerous now than earlier in his career because he relies more on deception?"

I'd laugh, too, had this not actually happened. Well, it did.

I don't know. Perhaps N.F. Magellan prefers Pedro circa '09, but were I a member of the Phillies I'd rather Charlie Manuel shipped the Pedro of 10 years ago to the mound for Game 6.

Call me crazy, but here's three quaint little pieces of evidence as to why:

• 1997: 17-8, 1.90 ERA, 13 CG, 4 SO, 241.1 IP, 158 H, 65 BB, 305 K, 0.932 WHIP, 219 ERA+

• 1999: 23-4, 2.07 ERA, 5 CG, 1 SO, 213.1 IP, 160 H, 37 BB, 313 K, 0.923 WHIP, 237 ERA +

• 2000: 18-6, 1.74 ERA, 7 CG, 4 SO, 217 IP, 128 H, 32 BB, 284 K, 0.737 WHIP, 291 ERA+

Anyway, after the question Hairston paused. I can't even imagine what ran through his head. Maybe the 97-mph fastball. Maybe the mid-70s changeup. Or the mid-60 deuce. Whatever it was, he answered the question, filling up N.F.'s notebook as best he could.

In this case, LOL would've sufficed.

Good luck with that, Andy

A quick follow-up to my pregame post: So how do Yankee fans feel now? Probably tighter than Eddie Harris' back during Game 163 in Major League.

Why? Well, part one of my three-part path to the Phillies winning the World Series came true, they dropped the Yanks 8-6 in Game 5 thanks to an ineffective A.J. Burnett. It has sent the Bronx Bombers home to New York with the lighter and a target — just no bomb.

Pettitte will likely start Game 6 on three days rest. He last pitched on short rest in 2006 for the Astros, who ran Pettitte to the mound on short rest three times that season. It made little sense then — Pettitte had last started on less than full rest in 2001 — but what can you expect from "Scrap Iron," Phil Garner, the skipper of Team GPS. Now? Starting Pettitte here simply boggles the mind, even over three years later. The 37-year-old lefty started on regular, four-day rest on Sept. 5. One start later the Yankees shelved Pettitte to rest his sore elbow. It's been five days or more between appearances for him ever since.

This will prove a monumental mistake. Joe Girardi's only hope is the Yankees tattoo Phillies' Game 6 starter Pedro Martinez, who is compromised by slipping stuff but will completely empty the tank. The offense may bail Girardi out, but remember: This is likely the the last gasp of Pedro's career. No one who called himself "maybe the most influential player to ever play in Yankee Stadium" will pull a Kobe, halfassing it in a big spot. 

Misguided AJ-enda

One of the most ballyhooed decisions by a manager in recent World Series history was made in 2003 by ol' Jack McKeon. Up 3 games to 2, Trader Jack wanted to put two feet on the Yankees throats before they ever caught their breath at Yankee Stadium. He tabbed Beckett to pitch Game 6 on three days rest, rather than take a shot with either Mark Redmond or Dontrelle Willis and turn back to a rested Beckett if the Series went seven.

As we well know, McKeon's faith in Beckett was realized in a five-hit shutout. It was one of the best performances by a pitcher in a decisive game in baseball history, no question, yet by the way people waxed poetic about the bold move since you would think McKeon had pitched himself. The great Tom Verducci of Sports Illustrated wrote a profile on McKeon the next month. The manager himself embraced it in one of many others. He proudly told Cigar Aficionado: "It took about 15 seconds to decide to pitch Beckett."

Here's the thing: McKeon's decision was misguided. It worked, yes. The Marlins won, yes. They danced on the infield at Yankee Stadium, yes. But had it failed, McKeon would've proven a miserable flop, sending his team into a Game 7 duel at the most hallowed venue in sports with a squirt gun (Redmond) or an 18th century revolver (a broken down Willis). Today we'd talk about championship No. 28, not 27.

In his aim for that elusive No. 27, Joe Girardi has strategized the Yankees onto the same one-lane highway. His decision to pitch A.J. Burnett in Game 5 tonight on short rest is equally misguided as the one made by McKeon and it could lead the Yankees to the verge of another collapse. Here's why:

Burnett has been splendid on short rest: 4-0, ERA in the twos, terrific strikeout rate. I understand that. But should he lose to Cliff Lee — the man with the lowest ERA after this many starts in postseason history — the Phillies will return to Yankee Stadium armed to force a Game 7.

The real fear isn't Burnett, who could pitch well tonight and still lose to a locked-in Lee. It's Andy Pettitte, Mr. Reliable, who has performed like a man 10 years younger this October but cannot disguise these facts: He is 37 and hasn't pitched on short rest since 2006. And in the instances he has, Pettitte has appeared pedestrian.

Imagine this scenario and consider the odds, because it is the Phillies' path to win this World Series:

• Game 5: Lee outduels Burnett — very plausible, if not expected

• Game 6: Pettitte tries, but fails — again, plausible as long as Pedro Martinez pitches reasonably close to how he pitched in Game 2

• Game 7: CC Sabathia pitches for the third time in nine days — think the Phillies can't win?

Sabathia showed a few cracks in Game 4. Even the staunchest Yankee supporter would agree he pitched his worst game this postseason, ducking in and out of early trouble to allow three runs in 6.2 innings. How much has the big man kept reserved for Game 7?

The key in the above scenario is how Martinez and Cole "No Mas" Hamels pitch at Yankee Stadium. Should one of them (or JA Happ, in a spot start) falter, A-Rod and co. could punish them, saving the media from giving Girardi its Sonny Corleone-at-the-tollbooth treatment for years to come.

In fact, like Jack, a win tonight turns Girardi from goat to hero. But not here. He's already hopped in the car, mad as hell, and is off to teach Carlo another lesson.

Help is not on the way

So the Yankees weren’t quite Pedro Martinez’ daddy, but once again, he failed to beat them in the Bronx.

It’s been the same thing repeatedly for Petey when he faces the Yankees at the Stadium in the playoffs: He stays in the game for too long and gives up runs long after he should be washing that Jheri curl. Happened again yesterday.

Look, I don’t blame Pedro. He’s a competitor. A crazy competitor at that. So when the skipper asks him if he can get three more outs, he always says yes. He figures his worn down arm is still better than some journeyman middle reliever.

But why do fools like Grady Little and Chuck Manuel continue to send him out to the mound when everyone can tell his stuff isn’t nearly what it was in the early innings?

That’s their one important job: Noticing when a pitcher doesn’t have it anymore and giving him the hook.

Paging Chuck Manuel: Petey isn’t 25 anymore. He was on the beach in the Dominican getting his tan on for most of the season.

Be decisive. Don’t even ask him how he’s feeling. Get off your butt and bring in a fresh arm. And maybe you’d be up 2-0 instead of tied.