The root of the problem

I usually make it my business to make sure there is something new up here every day, but it's taken me until now because I have the dagger of all daggers, a major toothache that will require a root canal tomorrow.

With the help of a fistful of Advil, however, I'm feeling well enough to rip Kerry Rhodes. The Jets safety is unhappy because his role isn't clearly defined right now. In reality the guy should be counting his lucky stars that the Jets haven't cut him - that's how badly he's played this season.

My fellow Rippers and I have all witnessed this guy shy away from contact, get trampled by running backs and make weak attempts to push guys out of bounds all season. It's so bad that you don't even have to look for it, his tentative play jumps out at you on replay.

So Kerry, until you get back to playing the way you did your first few years in the league, be quiet. You've been an embarrassment, the last thing you should be doing is drawing attention to yourself.

Rex Ry-wrong

Now that Joey Porter has been put in his place by the Tuna, the loudest mouth in the NFL belongs to Rex Ryan, the new coach of the Jets. Ryan talks so much it's a wonder people still listen. He guarantees victories — claiming he can sense a big performance ahead — and the team goes out and loses, crushing the hopes of its pathetic, groveling fans yet again.

Look, I like Rex's act. It's all in the name of confidence. On the field, the guy clearly knows defense, and players are bound to play hard for him judging on his unbrideled — and often misguided — faith in them alone.

Having said that, you simply can't coach a .500 team and say what Ryan said on Monday:

"This team is close. We’re close to being a special football team. Nobody can deny that. The facts are what they are, the number one ranked defense in the league learning a brand new defense. That’s pretty good." — Ryan

Rex, you wanna see me deny it?

I find it remarkable that a coach could stand at a podium a few days after his team eeked out wins over the mighty Panthers and Bills and proclaim his team close to anything "special" but a special offseason of sunbathing and snorkeling in the tropics.

For starters, the Jets can no longer allow their kiddie quarterback to play without his swimmies. Secondly, arguably the team's best offensive player (Leon Washington) and defensive player (Kris Jenkins) are out for the season, leaving them without a playmaker on offense and down a difference-maker on D.

Basically, the Jets right now are Revis and Harris and pray the other offense can't scare us. And there's nothing special about beating mediocre teams by a couple field goals. Sorry Rex.

Another GPS needed

ESPN just keeps churning out garbage.

During halftime of Monday night's joke of a game (by the way, I hope you remembered it was me who predicted the Browns to embarrass themselves most last weekend), Tom Jackson criticized Maurice Jones Drew for going down at the one-yard line on the final drive in the Jaguars-Jets game.

Wrong again.

Tom's explanation was something on the order of "when you have a chance to score, you have to score." Another statement that belongs in a museum.

Let's examine this carefully. If Jones Drew goes into the end zone, the Jets get the ball back with about 1:40 left after the ensuing kickoff. The Jets' offense won't remind anyone of the 'Greatest Show on Turf' Rams, but going 75 yards for a touchdown with almost two minutes remaining and then converting a two-point conversion is certainly not completely out of the question.

On the flip side, when Jones Drew goes down, he enables his team to run the clock down to the point where the field goal - which is essentially an extra point - is the last play of the game. Twenty-two teams have made every extra point they've attempted this season. Jacksonville missed one but made every one last season, making the odds of missing a 21-yard field goal for the win infinitesimal.

It was a smart play by Jones Drew, and it's really not that hard to figure out why. Then again, ESPN has a knack for being wrong.

The Maaaaad Backer lets one rip

Frankly, I'm just here as the messenger. This rip comes courtesy of Bart Scott, and I'm just here to share it. He gave one of the all-time rips (or sore loser tirades) following Miami's 30-25 win over the Jets. It was hilarious.

First, some context: To quickly bring those up to speed on what happened in the Jets-Dolphins game, the Dolphins used two kickoff returns by wide receiver stiff and special teams legend Ted Ginn Jr. as well as a fumble return by Jason Taylor to win the game. The Jets outgained the Dolphins 378-104 in yardage and controlled most of the game. The game should not have been close. The Jets should have won by two touchdowns.

Scott, in his self-anointed role as team spokesman, gave the Dolphins credit...well, a little too much credit. Rather than simply offering mundane niceties, he went with the all-sarcastic approach, and essentially compared the 2009 Dolphins offense to the 1999 Rams.

Here is some of what Scott had to say (Remember, the Dolphins had 104 TOTAL YARDS OF OFFENSE):

On the loss in general despite controlling the game:

BS: "It's tough. They're a great team. They'll probably contend for the Super Bowl. They have a tremendous offense -- great running backs, a great quarterback, a great tight end. They are stacked across the board. I'm serious. They are great."

He continued later on...

BS: "They have a tremendous offense and they showed it today. They are Super Bowl contenders and will probably take it all the way."

Don't you just love how he throws in the 'I'm serious.' line?

Bart Scott ladies and gentlemen.