Tears of a clown, or clowns

Listen closely. That uncontrollable sobbing you hear is coming from the corner known as the national football media. This group of Not Woodwards and Not Bernsteins was dealt a mighty blow right around midnight when the Steelers lost to the Ravens 20-17 in OT thanks to an interception by Dennis Dixon.

Now, Dixon, in his first NFL start, filled in for Big Ben, who, going against the desire of some people he should never again consider friends, managed to wait at least one more week before putting his mental well-being on the line. Good for him. Good for Dixon, too. He played admirably, if a little uninspiring. Even though he lost the game — and don't get it twisted, he did — this rip is not for him. No, we devote this space to the poor boys who are unable to waive their Terrible Towels this morning.

Just imagine: Joe Flacco throws a pick, Rashard Mendenhall runs for a couple of first downs, Jeff Reed kicks an OT field goal and Pittsburgh wins. Would Dixon even have room to walk with all the knee-pad jobs given to him by the national football media? Game-manager. Stepped up. Cheered on every step of the way by the starter. All the cliches these clowns love were there. It had the potential to be a nauseating Monday.

We still may hear enough to get the bile bubbling in our stomachs. Take Cris Collinsworth, Mr. Buckner's boy, who raved about Dixon during his postgame thoughts. Wait, isn't Dixon the same player who tossed a pass directly into the hands of a Ravens' defender in overtime? Yes. Yes, he is.

Not to be mean, but I'm sorry folks. You cannot throw an interception that leads almost immediately to the winning score and have played well. That's like Tim McCarver saying Bill Buckner had a good World Series in '86.

Anyway, this speaks to a larger point about the national football media. Unlike in baseball or basketball where the narratives change, they never do in football. A numbers of these clowns still trumpet Shawne Merriman as a "great" defensive player. They wondered earlier this season when the Chargers' LB would pick it up. ... Hmmm. Tough question. Maybe when he starts using whatever he used in 2006 again.

Bottom line: National football media — get out.