Pregame "observations"

Remember: observations = rips. Always.

Here goes...

Redskins at Cowboys: The 'Skins point-total last week (27) was their most since Week 2 last year. Jim Zorn = massive fail. Maybe Zorn will get lucky and bad Romo can keep Washington in the game. No one is more capable.

Browns at Lions: Meet Matt Stafford (6 TD, 12 INT), who has already developed a commendable lack of conscious, the one all losing QBs need to have. Congrats, Matt.

Niners at Packers: Alex Smith was picked No. 1 overall in 2005 and started immediately. Aaron Rodgers was picked 24th and sat for three years behind Benedict Favre. Example No. 283,987 that NFL people rarely choose the right college QBs.

Steelers at Chiefs: Troy Polamalu is out. How many defensive starters would the Steelers have to play without for the Chiefs to score 20? Five? Six? All 11?

Seahawks at Vikings: I'm starting to despise Jared Allen. He's become the white Michael Strahan: Too chatty, a lot of friends in the media telling us how good he is. Unfortunately, like Strahan we must deal. Allen is damn productive.

Falcons at Giants: So AP is out. What does "AP" stand for? How about Actually a Positive for the Giants? Pierce couldn't cover Don Hutson. Yes, Hutson's dead.

Saints at Bucs: I'm feeling upset here. Josh Freeman is exactly the type of big, fast, athletic, strong-armed quarterback that will inspire a lot of stereotypical comments from analysts for the next 10 years. "He won't always make the right call at the line, but he has the ability to improvise." Dan Dierdorf is licking his lips.

Bills at Jaguars: Ryan Fitzpatrick is starting for Buffalo today. He went to Harvard. He must be smart enough to know he stinks.

Colts at Ravens: Norwood Buckner practically guaranteed a Ravens win here. But doesn't Buckner know Peyton Manning has his offense, defense and special teams ready? He coached 'em hard all week. I truly believe he can save the Colts' timeouts, call a few key blitzes and overall outcoach John Harbaugh today. Manning is already 9-0 as head coach this year. Not bad for a QB. Jim Caldwell is kind enough to talk to the media.

Cardinals at Rams: Ol' Kurt Warner back to St. Louis and the friendly confines of the Ed Jones Dome. Six TDs and a six-minute postgame prayer are not out of the question.

Denver at San Diego: Tough break for the Broncos. They lost three in a row, their season is about to collapse as the fall out of first place and injuries have forced them to start a QB (Chris Simms) who can't throw a spiral. Seriously. The question is, can Denver finish 6-10?

Bengals at Raiders: Can Bruce Gradkowski throw for 50 yards today? Yes, just not 75. Good luck to Bruce.

Jets at Pats: Dirty Sanchez can write this postgame speech before the game. Just say whatever he would after a 30-point loss. It's gonna happen.

Eagles at Bears: Stat guys love to unearth unique stats, especially ones like "this is the first time in NFL history two quarterbacks 39 and older have started against one another." So here's mine: Could this game set a record? "Never before have two starting quarterbacks been so universally despised by their fan bases." Congrats to Don McNabb and Jay Cutler.